Sometimes as parents, we have a feeling that something is just not right. As a mom, I know there were times when I was really in it and just feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I’ve written about this in A Really Hard Day blog post. In my heart, I knew my son was having a terrible time and I wasn’t sure how to help him. Having an outline of some simple steps to take when I had concerns about my child’s development would have been so helpful.
It’s really important to to note, having concerns about your child’s development is not a criticism of your child or of your parenting. I see getting appropriate support, such as speech therapy, as a way to help reduce frustration and increase your child’s ability to interact successfully and develop a joy of life and learning. All children are amazing and can learn in an incredible variety of ways. Getting help early can help you as a parent figure out how your child can learn best.
1) Observe
Watch your child and make note of what you are concerned about. Sometimes little ones are having a bad day (just like we moms do!) or they may be getting sick. Write down your notes to help organize your thoughts. Generally speaking, we think of challenges in different areas in one of 5 categories: Social/Emotional Development, Cognitive Development, Language Skills, Motor Skills and/or Self-Help Skills. (For a more in-depth description of each area, see 5 Areas of Early Child Development.) Using these as a way to organize your concerns about what is going on with your little.
For my son, my concerns were with his Social/Emotional development. He had a great deal of difficulty with change and flexibility. He became distraught and cried for long periods every day.
2) Reach out to Your Pediatrician
Your pediatrician is generally a good early step if you have concerns. They will often ask some follow up questions and can ask some screening questions to help you determine what would be the best way to proceed. Is testing required? They generally can suggest appropriate resources in your area.
For my son, we began therapy with a play therapist in our area. Her help was invaluable and I’m so grateful to our pediatrician for connecting us.
3) Early Intervention Services
Your pediatrician may give specific suggestions as in my family’s case, or they may suggest a more general next step, such as Early Intervention Services. If your child is under 3, you can reach out to your state’s early intervention services program. (See your state’s Early Intervention Contact Information) A state’s Early Intervention Program provides evaluations and therapy in natural environments, such as your family’s home or your child’s childcare center. They will typically do a complete developmental evaluation to assess all developmental areas and provide information about your child’s development noting any areas of concern. Generally, they will provide recommendations and services if appropriate. Different states implement services slightly differently.
I have worked for Early Intervention programs as a speech therapist in two different states and have loved working with children and families. In both places, we worked closely with the families’ goals for their children.
4) School System
If your child is 3 or over, generally your local school system provides support for educational development. You can reach out to your town’s school system for more information on the procedure. Unfortunately, school systems can be very different from one another. Starting with your school system’s website is a good start, but who you reach out to may vary depending on your district. In some school systems you may reach out directly to their preschool or early childhood department while others may have you contact their related services department or special education department. If you’re unsure, you can always contact a main number, and they should be able to send you in the right direction. Depending on your system, they may screen your child or provide a complete evaluation. Generally, they will provide services if your child has significant delays. If they find that your child does not qualify for school services, they should be able to provide information for other resources in your community.
5) Insurance/Private Pay
Sometimes a child’s needs may not fit neatly into an educational category or your child may not qualify for services based on whatever evaluation was done. If you still have concerns about your child’s development, some families pursue private therapy on their own. There are private speech therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapists and counselors who can assist with a wide variety of concerns. Again, your pediatrician can be a good resource for information. Often your school system will have information on local clinics and programs as well.
For my son, we found a private counselor who accepted our insurance to help him work through many of his challenges. Again, our pediatrician provided her information.
6) Community Groups
Consider joining a local parenting group, either online or through a local resource such as a public library. Other parents can provide so much support and information. I’ve said this in other posts as well- our parent friends were absolutely essential to our parenting. As the saying goes, “It takes a village!” Support and love from other families who are going through similar experiences can help on so many levels; from practical advice to emotional understanding. However, please be careful when taking advice from other families. One child and family’s experience can be very different from another’s.
Finally, you are your child’s first teacher and best advocate. Your child is wonderful and unique and deserves the best. Getting help is not criticism of a child. I see it as a way to help and support them in learning to love life and learning.
I’m rooting for you and your family- always in your corner. I wish you love and all the best in your parenting journey.