To build a sound house, you need a solid foundation. Without it, you get sloping floors, cracks in the walls and a crumbling foundation. Communication through life is similar. Without the strong foundation, including the connection that is enhanced by communication, and developing higher level thinking skills, such as problem solving, strong communication is very challenging.
As parents, we do so much of this without thinking. When you hear your baby cry, you respond to this very primal sound. Your little one learns that they can make things happen and that they can count on you.
In our very busy and distracted world, this can be harder. Sometimes, we feel like we’re in the same room as our little, we’re bonding. With our very little ones, they haven’t developed appropriate eye contact and other skills to request attention in appropriate ways yet. Without us to teach them, we can miss their primeval attempts to connect. Being truly present for a baby is harder than ever these days. As parents, we’re expected to be available to respond to messages from work, friends and family at all times. Social media to check, activities to research, newsfeeds to follow. If we are home with our children- just hanging out- many feel that we’re not really doing anything and should be available.
Being present for our littles is one of the most important responsibilities we have.
Foundation Communication Skills
But what is happening at this time? What “skills” are they developing? Here are a few that should develop naturally through our daily play and interactions with our littles. I find it so cool that so much is going on in their little minds and bodies as we are stacking blocks, looking at a book with them or rolling a ball.
Imitation
Imitation is a key skill to learning new things. There’s actually a learning theory that all learning is done through observation and imitation. (To geek out on that, read this article on Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory) If a child can imitate, they can attempt new skills that they see and hear. Imitating simple motor movements, such as clapping, can lead to the ability to build on these movements and continue learning. The skills then build upon one another. Imitating a wave can lead to your baby initiating communication with another person, leading to more language and social development. Imitating rolling a ball can lead to more social interactions, such as turn taking, but also developing more and more motor skills. (Look out, Lionel Messi!)
Attention
This one seems obvious at first, right? Of course, you have to pay attention to what you are learning to learn it, but it goes a little further than that. Children generally begin to increase their attention over time as they start to form preferences and interests. They can sustain attention a little longer as they begin to build their vocabulary. I remember my Maisie, when she was under a year, loved the Eric Carle book, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? It was so amazing to see her little eyes start to watch the page and, as I finished reading the line, she would reach to turn to the next page. She started repeating the animal names and sounds at a very early age as her attention increased.
Initiation
When Maisie was reaching out to turn the page in order to hear the next one, she was beginning to show initiation of communication. Our babies sometimes just do this by making a sound and waiting for you to turn. It’s important that they begin to understand that when the initiate, this is a valuable skill. Eventually, those little sounds and gestures begin to shift into simple language, “Ma!” and so forth. It’s so important for children to develop the skill of initiating language so they can get their wants and needs met and, as they grow, begin make comments, begin conversations and so much more.
Eye Contact
Our littles are learning the importance of eye contact and connection. By looking at a person’s face, we can generally tell if that person is listening or is ready for us to communicate. This is part of attention, but goes a little further. It’s a check to see if the person we’re talking to is ready. This happens so rapidly and many small children- not even just babies- are figuring this out.
Anticipation
When we know something is coming, we often want to share that idea with others. This is a great way to create connection with your child. A car door slams and you say, “Is that Granny?” The microwave beeps and you say, “Lunch is ready!” If your child has a regular routine for their day, they will begin to anticipate the next activity and, by modeling consistent language with your child, they will begin to use the words on their own.
Turn Taking
Simple conversational turn taking can start long before meaningful speech develops! Imitating your child’s baby sounds back to them and then letting them have a turn creates a chance for them to start developing the art of turn taking. Littles love the interaction, and this little activity works on so many of the foundation skills for communication- turn taking, attention, imitation, eye contact, initiation! There are so many very basic activities that practice this skill, such as rolling a ball back and forth with your child, taking turns tapping or drumming a toy, taking turns pouring water in the tub. So many preschoolers find turn taking to be challenging skill to learn, so beginning early can contribute to future communication and school success.
Differences
For many children, these foundation communication skills develop early. However, for many other children, these skills are more challenging to develop. By providing time to play and be present with your child, you will find what works for them. If you are concerned about your child’s development, speak to your pediatrician. I also have another blog post, 5 Signs Your Little May Benefit from Speech Therapy that may be helpful.
For a summary, please check out this handout Building a Solid Foundation!
